The Trouble With Being Human
I am shy. I've been shy ever since I was a kid, but in recent years it has actually gotten worse - or at least, more specialized. I'm rarely anxious in large crowds, and I can even speak in public without much difficulty, but I am obsessively terrified of one-on-one interaction. It has reached the point where today, when someone I like and who is obviously interested in making friends with me asked me to lunch today, I turned him down - because we had lunch yesterday, and obviously we'd have nothing to talk about if we had lunch again today. It is particularly worth noting that at lunch yesterday I talked to him about possible world logic and yet he asked me to lunch again. Plus he seems to be one of the only people here who can understand a word I say. But no, I am too crazy for friends, so I said, "Um, I have to ... do other things." I didn't end up having lunch at all.
Don't bother emailing me to tell me I'm crazy - I am already well aware. Don't bother emailing me at all, actually; not only is my school email still down, but my Yahoo mail doesn't work anymore either. Soon I'm going to have to resort to sending messages in empty bottles of Tsingtao.
Tie a bottle to the neck of an albatross or something and enclose a list of conversation starters. It would be a great help to me.
posted by Emily @ 11:48 PM
3 Comments:
"Let's get some corn ice cream"
"Have you been following the World Cup? Me neither."
"Have you been to the Forbidden City yet?"
"I think monsters are the most innnteresting people, don't you?"
"Do you ever wait for the longest day of the year and then miss it?"
"What got you interested in Chinese?"
"What's [name of school] like?"
Yes, go with the 'monsters' one. The complexities of trying to explain the full gamut of references - Bugs himself, of course, the setting, manicurists and the tradition of gossip - will bring about a very healthy conversation and no further invitations to lunch ever. Or lots more. Either one.
"Have you ever read anything by P.G. Wodehouse? You don't know what you're missing!"
"You know, people talk about China, but it's not really true, is it?"
"Have you ever seen 'Plan Nine from Outer Space? Lucky you! It sucks!"
"What is your favorite ice cream flavor?"
"You, sir, look like a hat person."
"After spending seven months in China, I have come to the conclusion that the thing I like best about this country- is you."
"I am a huge fan of cats- but somehow or other I can't decide between orange cats and tortoiseshell cats. What is your opinion?"
"Do you know what tortoiseshell cats look like? No? I didn't think so. Perhaps we cn discuss it over lunch."
Use your own discretion.
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